Are Your Friendships, Relationships and Interactions With Coworkers Constantly On The Fray?
- Do you and your partner incessantly yell, argue and bicker?
- Do you have difficulty getting along with others, explode in anger as a rule rather than an exception and repeatedly burn bridges with friends, family members and colleagues?
- Do you spend more time taking care of your partner’s needs than you do taking care of yourself?
- Are you chronically single or recently separated and worry that you’ll never have a healthy relationship?
- Do you yearn to have rewarding, fulfilling connections with others, but fear you’re inherently flawed?
Relationships can provide us with joy, love and connectedness. However, they can also cause a great deal of pain and frustration. Perhaps you’re currently in a romantic relationship and are struggling to get along with your partner. You and your partner may constantly yell, criticize and belittle each other, causing you to wonder whether a divorce or breakup is just around the corner. Alternatively, you may be single and wondering why you can’t maintain a long-term partnership. At night you might cry yourself to sleep, worrying that you’ll be single for life. In the past, you might have settled for a partner who was plagued by personal problems, including struggles with depression, anxiety, addiction or anger management issues. You may have felt personally responsible for solving your partner’s problems, but lost your sense of dignity and self respect in the process.
Conversely, you may be the partner who struggles with anger. You might be easily offended and explode at those closest to you, which leads to feelings of guilt and a long string of apologies. Perhaps your worst fear is that your anger will really get out of control, causing you to get arrested, fired from your job or hurt someone you love. You may be longing for healthy, fulfilling interactions with others, but fear that you’re doomed to live a life of solitude.
Poor Communication Is A Common Source Of Relationship Problems
Relationship difficulties are often due to ineffective and unhealthy communication skills that began developing during childhood. Perhaps your parents often yelled or used aggressive words or behavior to get their needs met. They might have abused alcohol or drugs, struggled with mental illness or some other addiction or were low functioning. The messages you received in childhood may have taught you to be aggressive to get your needs met. Or, perhaps you began sacrificing your own needs in order to care for others, which often leads to codependent relationships in adulthood. Thankfully, relationship counseling can help you unravel unhealthy patterns and provide you with the tools and skills you need to communicate better in your relationships. With the help of an experienced and compassionate therapist, you can create greater harmony in your interactions with others and experience more joy in your life.
Relationship Counseling Can Help You Become a Better Communicator
Therapy can be a gratifying and life-altering solution for those who are looking to move on from negative relationships. I’ve seen many clients go on to forge healthy, rewarding connections with others and believe that healing is possible for you too. In therapy you’ll find a safe space where you’ll be free to discuss your emotions, thoughts and experiences without the fear of judgment or shame. You’ll have a professional, supportive therapist at your side who has the knowledge, expertise and experience to help.
As a therapist, I offer a holistic, eclectic approach to relationship counseling, and will draw from cognitive-behavioral, mind-body, dialectical and many other modalities in order to develop a therapy plan that’s best suited to your unique situation. I offer both short-term and long-term solutions, as well as additional resources you can use at home. I can provide you with recommended readings and informative handouts that can help you find support and healing both in and out of the office.
In relationship counseling sessions, we’ll take an in-depth look at your relationship struggles, identify any negative patterns of behavior and take a course of action to remedy your particular issues. I can teach you ways to become more assertive and to set appropriate boundaries with others. By not keeping emotions bottled up inside or feeling taken advantage of by others, you can begin to improve self-esteem, practice better self care and set the groundwork for having future healthy relationships. In sessions, I can also help you learn to read nonverbal communication cues, such as body language and facial expressions. We can utilize role-playing exercises to help you visualize and practice verbalizing your needs, frustrations and perspectives in ways that are healthy and effective. By learning healthier communication skills, you can stop being trampled on by romantic partners or becoming overly reactive whenever you feel hurt, criticized or vulnerable. In addition, I’ll encourage you to adopt healthy coping skills that you can draw from whenever relationship difficulties arise. By valuing, respecting and taking care of yourself, you can break the cycle of destructive relationships and attract friends and partners who will treat you with compassion and understanding.
I’ve seen many people find healing through the use of therapy, and I believe that healing is possible for you too. Through relationship counseling, it’s possible to feel comfortable in your own skin, increase your self-esteem and learn to honor your needs, hopes and desires. You can have the rewarding relationships you always wanted and experience more harmony, balance and joy in your life. .
You may be ready to try relationship counseling, but still have some questions and concerns…
I’m afraid I’ll have to share my innermost thoughts and emotions.
If you’re uncomfortable expressing yourself, we don’t have to delve into discussing painful emotions right away. Initially, we can focus on practical skills and tools that will help you communicate and cope more effectively in the present moment. Once you’ve reached an appropriate comfort level and we’ve built a trusting relationship, you may find that you actually want to share and address the negative experiences and feelings at the root of your relationship difficulties.
I’m worried people will think I’m crazy if they find out I’m going to counseling.
People seek out therapy for a variety of reasons, most of which do not involve mental illness. Today many individuals go to counseling because they are struggling in the workplace, need help with a breakup, are grieving the loss of a loved one or just feel like they need someone to talk to. My job is not to diagnose you, but rather to provide you with the tools and skills you need to solve your problems, feel better about yourself and become a better communicator.
I tried therapy in the past and had a bad experience.
If you’ve tried therapy before and did not find it helpful, your therapist might have used a modality that wasn’t right for you or simply had a personality that didn’t mesh well with yours. During your first session with me, you’ll be able to decide whether you’re comfortable with me as a therapist. You’ll also have the opportunity to fill out an intake form where you’ll be able to write down what you didn’t like about your previous therapy experience and what was helpful. With this information in hand, I’ll do my best to improve your therapy experience and not repeat anything that wasn’t helpful to you.
It’s Possible To Experience Positive, Meaningful Connections With Others
You don’t have to continue alienating friends and coworkers or repeating past relationship mistakes. To find out more about relationship counseling or to ask any questions about my practice or approach, please call (310) 427-1107. I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation.